Lord, Thank You for all this time

Dear Lord,
I need you. I had to meet you, I had to feel you.

Dear Lord,
Let me share my story.

Since I was a toddler I had always been special, right Lord? Because, if You didn't save me that
time, I will not be alive today. I was supposed to die of electrocution, but you saved me. It was
really amazing that even after I was electrocuted, and sent flying away...I am still alive, all because of you.
Yes, that incident, that very incident is the very thing that made me special. But...

It changed the course of my childhood. Back in the day, we would gather at my kampong for celebration such as Christmas, Kaamatan, Raya etc.. My aunties and uncles would do their stuff to prepare for a feast and their children, including me and my siblings would play along together.

Scratch that. We never really play together, really. I mean, I was always left out of the group. Yes, that time, I don't know why, but for some reasons, people just like to avoid me. They are treating me like a nuisance. Even my own sibling left me just for the fun of playing with them. So yeah, that's my childhood. I get into troubles a lot because some time I just need some extra attention that I really should have that time. Lucky I have my lovely and sweet grandma, that always took me to her hut, eventho it's not as nice as the other grandma's grand house. In that tiny hut, I learn to live life the hard way. My grandma and I would go fishing for our breakfast, lunch and dinner. And the fish would never be bigger than the size of a marker. For fun, my grandma, made me this toy that could shoot just anything, and it was not slingshot, it was something else.

So yeah, I spent time with my grandma a lot, than my cousins, aunties, uncles and my own family back in the day. My whole life back then was full of fun as I live together with my grandma in that hut that had gone by now.

Because of it, I tend to be more 'weird', as that is how people describe me. They can't understand me. But then, You were, are and will always be there, for me and me alone.

Thank you Lord for molding me into a special existence. Thank you for giving me a really good grandma. May God bless her and prolong her life, to see me in my wedding suit. Thank you again Lord for making me, me and for saving me twice from death. Thank you Lord for grabbing me away from the Devil's trap : Suicide.